In the movie, Ken says, "My job is just 'beach.'" And honestly? At this age, we respect that. We don't need Ken to complete us. We need Ken to take out the trash, make the coffee, and tell us we look great in our elastic waistbands. We have stopped trying to fix the "fixer upper" Kens. We are looking for the Kens who know how to fold a fitted sheet.

We are the generation that grew up with the impossible proportions. We had the "Slumber Party Barbie" that came with a scale set permanently to "110 lbs" and a book called How to Lose Weight that advised: "Don't eat."

My 40-something house has a leaky faucet in the guest bath, a pile of Amazon boxes on the porch, and a van that smells like spilled orange juice and sports equipment. I love my house, but I would kill for Barbie’s closet space. (Also, how does Barbie keep her white carpet so clean? Does she not have dogs? Or a husband who wears muddy boots?)

Ouch.